The process of grieving a pet cat is no different than that of a human family member or any other pet. Sincere thoughts of love to all who know how I feel. I made the decision to lay Leo to rest. It's been 5 days though, and even with us calling, leaving her litter box out, or a shirt out etc... still no sign of her. I am sincerely scared about her well being, with a million things running through my mind. They grew up with this cat. Medication bought him another 6 good months, but he was gradually growing worse. I'm in the midst of seeing my 13 1/2 year old Aussie, Adain, on his way. Preparing food and always saving him my last bite. What to Do After the Loss of a Pet . While we veterinarians do everything we can to keep your pet … But, never brought the level down to normal. We worked with an oncologist and had put her on a daily chemo (chlorambucil) and prednisone. Leo (my cat), at 9 years old, was diagnosed with Diabetes. At the last appointment, both the vet and cardiologist that had been treating him recommended putting him to sleep. By day 2, he was literally shutting down. Thank you so much for this and your other articles, I have read many and joined a Facebook group due to them. 7. I ache for her, the love of my life, my everything. But as … What could have taken her to this state? I've had him for 16 years and he's been by my side since I was 12. I'm up in the middle of the night reading these posts trying to make sense of my grief. Why Are the Holidays So Hard While Grieving a Pet? I felt, he was with me for the lousiest 10 years of my life. It is hard to accept it but moving forward was so necessary for my well being. She was almost 12 1/2, an American Pit Bull Terrier. Our cat was the love of our lives. I recently had to put my cat to sleep (3 days ago) and am really broken up. It is especially tough because she showed no signs of illness or distress. This is a form of complicated grief, for most people would say, 'what is your problem, it was just a goat'. Psychology Today © 2020 Sussex Publishers, LLC, How to Say “Thank You” for Maximum Effect. I've been scouring the internet trying to find ways to make peace with her death. Guilt – the persistent obsession of pet loss. I had a special connection with her. I carry this guilt the most. On a day to day level, he was eating well. She was the smartest cat ever. He created them because they gave him pleasure and we are to care for them. I decided it was time to take a position. Where is their comrade?? Bless you and yours! Sometimes people have a difficult time removing the pet’s bedding, toys, and food bowls. Others decide that they will find a favorite space or memory from their pet’s life and spend some time there. He slept at my feet every night on my bed. We need to seek social support from people we know will … I accepted that I will never have that kind of joy again , so I go on. Our Sonny Boy was leaving us. I place “absence” in quotes as many believe it is only a physical loss, as our pets will always remain in our hearts and their influence upon our lives will last forever. I'm at the point in my life where I just want to say 'fuck this'. Steven I am so very sorry for your sudden tragic loss. It's been a day and a half--the pain is difficult to bear. At the second ER, things appeared to start to shut down, she pooed and it was full of blood, her abdomen was full of fluid. 5. Or try these resources: Need to talk to someone who understands what you’re feeling now? The loss of multiple relationships and routines: Each role that the pet occupied (e.g., friend, child, significant other) as well as each role that we as owners took on is a loss. Choosing a calming practice such as meditation, active focus on breathing, mindful eating, or releasing our body tension can help as our anxieties that may increase during social obligations while we are still experiencing our grief. Again ... Good News ... Leo passed on 12-Oct-2018. Affirmation of the depth of one's suffering is difficult for friends and family that would consider eating that same animal's flesh or putting out poison to rid your domicile of them (although most people do get that there is a huge difference between a wild Norway rat and a heavily domesticated hooded rat). Meanwhile after 2 hours there, they said she is starting to show signs of blood clotting and fluid in her abdomen and we needed to move her ASAP. Was the age range (as I'm 55) of those who had a tight bond with their friend and companion. Sileo suggests: “You may find yourself resenting the new pet for trying to take the place of the old pet,” he says.When you’re ready for a new pet, Sileo advises that you adopt one that is different from your former companion. Thanks again Unfortunately our vet confirmed what we already knew. Guilt plays a role in this as well. If you have lost a special canine companion, the emotions can become overwhelming. However I appreciate that you took the time to write a reply and I am sorry that Aussie is close to his passing. As a rat rescuer, she is fortunate to have the loving support group of rat fanciers people who get it. Especially my 12 year old daughter was very close to her. Otherwise, you might find yourself stuffing your emotions which can cause more pain down the road. For the last year he had been battling congestive heart failure, but we put him on meds and he bounced back. Some are beautiful works of art suitable to display on a mantel; others are biodegradable. There is no health without mental health, says Dr. Harris, Everyday Health's new medical editor in chief. Read Coping with Sorrow on the Loss of Your Pet by Moira Anderson Allen. Not waking up to him, not hearing his cry at the back door, not hearing him when he's hungry. They will not replace his warm spot next to me, but I hope will give me smiles again someday in the future. “If you lose a human family member, you can expect understanding and sympathy,” Zimmerman says. Horses may run the fenceline for some time and whinny, trying to receive a return call from their mate. We all have to go on, but the immediate aftermath is just really painful. I can't seem to get out of this grief. Then she was diagnosed with Lymphoma about 7 months ago. Did we do the right thing? However; when you are taking the time to purposely reflect in this manner, try to focus on what positive memories were shared. You need time to grieve and to experience your emotions, fully. But I can’t say that, having Oreo was simply the happiest time in my life. I pretty much lived to make her happy, which honestly made me happy. Every day I kept a close watch on her, even had a camera in the room she stayed, so I could periodically check in on her, but I didn't check that day, her Daddy was home and just didn't. Routines allow us a sense of structure and familiarity, although the first few times can be painful, these immediate triggers can reduce over time. This decision, was by far the most difficult decision I have yet to make. After more than 30 years as a practicing veterinarian, and many, many personal losses, I’ve learned some strategies that can help pet owners who are dealing with the loss of a beloved companion. 5. It can also occur after the loss, in staying away from home to avoid confronting the pet’s absence. I have never felt pain like this in my life. Remember our animals are in a better place now. I deal with a lot of loss in the shelter and also lost my 15 year old dog this year. She has conducted ceremonies for pets, including a rabbit. I had to put my 16 year beautiful baby down today. She never came out of the coma like state, heart still pumping, still breathing but a blank stare with no response. Do something nice for your friend to show your support. My husband stayed home that day because he was up late after a bad day the day before at the office. 7. As of 10:30 am tomorrow, it'll only be 48 hours of separation. She was older, she was eating less, but seemed healthy etc... She got out on January 1st when my husband was bringing in the groceries. My heart aches too much now, but I know he will be with me again someday. It really hits home. I truly believe as God wants to give us the desires of our hearts, I will see him in my eternal home. The pain is excruciating and I wish it would stop. This past July, after an appointment with my vet. He was with me 5 years before my husband could leave his job and move here. I did not until that very day. The love of a dog is so unconditional it’s truly heartbreaking but you sound like your doing well so god bless. I will like to keep our recent memories on replay until that day come where captured images of us together are comforting and cuddly to my spirit. He lived to be very old--he was 19 and had spent 17 of those years with me. This kills me. Never got sick in the 7 months on it, she was full of life and quality of life was good. If it was up to me, she'd go on living forever as we all grow older. Try to maintain walking routines and feeding schedules as not to disrupt their process or your own. I will be saying goodbye to my dog (Flossy) in the coming days due to severe health issues associated with old age. Here’s the thing, I am single, no friends , none. “Each pet has its own personality, and comparisons would be unfair to your new pet.” “A lot of furry creatures out there need good homes,” Cattarello says. I also decided, I was staying with him till the end. We've hired a pet detective, who will come out today and help us in the search process, but we live in a small neighborhood in a mostly rural town. We have two other dogs, another beagle, Buddy, who has been with Sonny for 7-1/2 years, and our girl Casey, an American Staff, We have kept everything as normal as possible, but they are looking for Sonny. Oreo was the best thing in my life. In parallel, I have a friend who is currently laid low by the unexpected death of a pet rat. However, glucose levels ran the gambit. When my dad died it was very sudden, he had not been I'll, he died from a blood clot in his heart and lungs, not being able to say the things I wanted to has massively complicated the process of kinda, not "dealing with" but making sense of the loss of him. 6. He had been in and out of the vets for the past few months, and it was the hardest decision I have ever had to make, but I know it was the right one. It has helped me understand how God made animals before man. The ones whose passing has affected me the most has been the death of my own precious goat companions. My husband does not understand my grief. He has made me a better person. “Check with your local animal hospital, veterinarian or veterinary medicine school for a pet loss support group or hotline,” Sileo advises. “The Grief Recovery Handbook For Pet Loss,” is a step by step method of dealing with that emotional pain in a meaningful way. While you’re grieving, your living pets are also experiencing the loss and absence of your pet and their companion. She was so sick at the end, but we held her close in her final minutes. The grief process. I am so sorry that you had this happen, that your childhood companion and constant supporter through hard times was let down so badly, and so were you. … The loss of a pet can be emotionally devastating. The loss of a beloved animal companion can be devastating. We thought she just zoomed past him and out the door. Also, a pain evaluation of "0" was appraised. I wanted her healthy and happy, always. I have another little cat who is a few years younger and she is clearly bewildered. His chair, his bowl, his bed, anything is triggering. I never thought he would get sick like this. He had been dealing with a heart condition that caused a variety of ailments. She had severe kidney failure and just lost her spark in her last few weeks. I do have numerous photos/vids of her, but I rather not look at them now. Not having a form of closure in this process can leave some feeling as though they have a hole in their hearts. Is this a sign of grieving or unhealthy procrastination please help and thanks. Unbiased, relentless, always there for you. He understood who I was. Make sure you continue to meet your basic needs. We didn't notice she was missing until a few hours later. He was there when my career went in the toilet, he was there when I was struggling to rebuild it, and he was there when I came back better than ever. Unfortunately, our worst fears were confirmed. “If you lose a pet, people are often less caring and become impatient or dismissive.” Without someone to lean on, your grieving may be much harder. As I write this I hope you all know what it's like to lose your pets. There is never a wrong way to memorialize the beautiful experiences and life that was shared. 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